garage sale bandit

Saturday morning I didn't have to work. Usually when I'm off Sassy and I go on some kind of mission just to get her out of the house - the playground, the store, the mall - and that day our mission was a new stroller, one that she could fit in without sitting sideways. I began my search for the cheapest one possible without being the crappiest one possible (I'm pretty sure that's always my shopping M.O.). After reading some dismal reviews on the Toys R*Us website, I decided to look on craigslist.

The second thing on the page said POWER WHEELS - $40. All plans for a new stroller evaporated.

Micah's been trying to convince me for months that Sassy needs a car. The type that can't go very fast, but fast enough for me to break a sweat thinking of my baby plowing away from me in a motorized vehicle. I mean, I think can run faster than it, but who knows?

I knew Micah wouldn't be mad if I pursued this. I called the number and it was still there. The owners of this Jeep (Barbie!) had turned their many craigslist postings into a garage sale. They lived about fifteen minutes away, and yes, the Jeep was still there. The power wheels Barbie Jeep for FORTY DOLLARS. Of course, I had just put our pizza lunch in the oven, and we were nowhere near ready to go. If you know about craigslist (or garage sales, for that matter) you know it's first come-first claim. You can't hold something for someone who might never show.

I went into overdrive. I sloppily dressed us both, managed a couple swipes with a hairbrush, and sliced the super-melty pizza, which I hate to do, and put it in a container. Out the door. Shit! No money! But there was an ATM on the way! So far, so good.

As I turned onto the street of destiny, I saw the Barbie Jeep. I literally did the pull-a-fist-back YYYYYES! Mine. Uh. Sassy's.

I told the woman I wanted it and then I started looking around at other things in her driveway. Sassy busied herself in her new ride as if she knew it was hers. The woman and I shared that we are old enough to remember Weebles, which have made a comeback recently. I decided to buy a Weebles tree house to accompany the Weebles farmhouse Sassy'd been bored with of late.

Suddenly the woman turns, her eyes on an SUV speeding down the street.

"They must be here for the Barbie Jeep. My husband's been getting calls all morning."

The SUV bumps along into her driveway way too fast, and she mutters "whoa" under her breath. Yeah, dick, slow the eff down. Don't you see the child in the driveway? Or are your eyes focused on something else?

He jumps out. "Hi, yeah, I'm here for the Jeep?"

"Sorry, she just bought it." Yeah, you effing codpiece.

"Great. I drove all the way here just for that."

"Yeah, me too," I said a little too snidely, not giving a hummingbird's hiney about how far he drove. Did I mention he drove a BMW SUV? GO BUY A NEW BARBIE JEEP! He walked away to examine the other merchandise. He lingered a few seconds on the Weebles treehouse.

"She just bought that, too."

At that point I thought I'd better just take our booty and go. I have never experienced such pride in a purchase - nay, conquest - it was meant to be hers!

When we got it home, Sassy climbed right into it again. I showed her how to use the pedal, and she actually held her foot on it for a few minutes. She's a bit young to understand the concept of forward vs. reverse and how one might switch between the two, but she seemed to be enjoying it and kept her foot on the pedal even after driving into a wall. I couldn't believe she was getting it! I thought she had at least another few months before she'd have a handle on it. (Which...she didn't really "handle" it. She refused to put her hands on the wheel if her foot was on the pedal.) While I was cleaning it I saw the original price tag - $150. Awwww yeah.

Now, a few days later, she is inexplicably terrified of the "gas" pedal. Terrified. Won't put her foot near it! When I push it with my hand, she jumps out. GREAT. Probably karma for being so smug about my victory.

On the other hand, she's already taking ownership of her new vehicle. When I flipped it over to look at the battery, she ran into the other room and got our screwdriver, which just blew me away. The connections she makes! She knows everytime I flip something over I'm going to need a screwdriver to change the batteries. My little mechanic.